


something

by InTheGarrison



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas and Dean talk, M/M, bunker kitchen, i was reading tbah and this idea just came to me?, idk what this is, mostly the first three lines came to me and everything else just spilled out after, or they try to, so yeah this is a oneshot but i might add to it some time in the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28773237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheGarrison/pseuds/InTheGarrison
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 10





	something

„You worried about something, buddy?“ Dean inquires, eyebrows knitted in sincere concern for his friend.

_Something. Everything. You._

“No.” Castiel lies.

Lying comes easy to Castiel now. Spending time with the Winchesters, spending time with Crowley, spending time with strange humans as a strange human himself – he assimilated, and it seems like he comfortably adapted a habit of deceiving the ones closest to him. But just because he got his lying game on point doesn’t mean he got his acting game on point. So he doesn’t meet Dean’s eyes and keeps on pretending being occupied with the label of his empty beer bottle. The glass is already warm to his touch, almost feverishly hot, and he doesn’t bother getting another one after having declined Dean’s offer mere minutes earlier. He can hear Dean taking another swig from his beer.

“You – “ Castiel begins before he decided on what to say.

“Me?” Dean reiterates.

The angel dares to meet the hunter’s eyes.

“You always put up with me. Aren’t you tired?”

“Dude, what?”

“We’ve been sitting here for over half an hour, talking essentially about nothing, when all the while you could have been, I don’t know, watching something, listening to music, reading …… I don’t know, those mangas ... “

Castiel shrugs and Dean makes a face that clearly shows he still doesn’t understand.

Castiel sighs and Dean’s face grows softer.

“Cas we’ve talked about this. You are family and we like having you around. _I_ like having you around.”

Castiel knows they talked about this. Of course he remembers. Dean was very adamant he understand.

“Wait what mangas?”

The angel averts his eyes to inspect the kitchen’s featureless wall. Is that a ketchup stain?

“Uh, you know, the ones under your mattress?” Castiel tries.

“Do I wanna know?” Dean sounds in equal measures furious and defeated.

“When you first moved in here, I may have been a bit worried about your safety. I probably overstepped. I watched over you again.”

Castiel pauses, providing Dean space to respond, to explode at him. When he doesn’t seem to be able to decide on an appropriate reaction, he continues.

“I know _now_ the bunker is the safest place either of you can be in the world, and I apologize for disrespecting your wish for not being watched at night.”

Dean definitely looks pissed now, Castiel decides.

“One time I sat down on the mattress I sensed something solid and I found your collection. They did help me when I got bored watching you.”

“Wow, wait, okay. Let us unpack here. First of all, don’t fucking watch me, it’s rude.”

“Dean I just explained to you. I haven’t done this in years, I –“

“Yeah, and second? What do you mean you got bored of watching me? Also rude!”

Castiel snaps his mouth shut and doesn’t reply.

“And third,“ Dean’s voice slips into a chuckle “you enjoyed reading porn mangas?”

“Dean, ‘reading’ is hardly the expression here.”

“Ah yes, so you were interested in the artistic side of porn mangas?”

“They are indeed aesthetically pleasing.”

“Mh, yes, actually, I don’t know if I wanna have this conversation.”

“You brought it up, Dean.”

“Yeah, well then I am retracting it now.”

They fall into silence again.

“So, if you still want me here, I’m getting another beer.”

Dean makes some sort of huffing noise before answering.

“Trust me, pal, if I didn’t want you here, you would have known by now.”

A tiny smile tugs at Cas’ lips as he’s on the way to the fridge.

“You want another one?” He asks Dean once he wrestles open the massive door.

“No, thanks. It’s probably time for me to crank out the whiskey.” He announces cheerfully as he grabs a bottle of Jim Beam and a tumbler from the tiny bar-sort-of-area in the corner of the kitchen.

“Why is that?”

Castiel asks as he returns to the table and plops into the chair opposite Dean’s.

“It’s late?” Dean provides and shrugs. “Bedtime routine, I guess.”

The bottle is unscrewed, and its contents fill the glass a little more than would be deemed appropriate.

“Are you having nightmares again?” Castiel tests, carefully.

Dean laughs at that. It sounds deep and mingled with exhaustion.

“Cas, they never stopped. I always have nightmares.” He points his gaze at the glass clutched between his hands. “Whiskey helps with dimming their intensity.” He adds quietly.

“Okay.” Castiel says, for lack of a better response. He twists open his beer and gulps down a fair amount, patiently waiting for Dean to continue.

“You know when I didn’t have nightmares?” He mumbles even quieter, almost afraid to go on. “Not that I remember anyway.” He softly spins the glass in his hands before taking a first, tentative sip. He frowns as if he is tasting his regular choice of liquor for the first time. “Those first few nights in the bunker. I felt …. safe. I thought I felt like finally having a home, and one that is warded against all possible evil.” He laughs in earnest now and looks at Castiel …. expectantly?

“And now you frickin’ tell me this was when you watched over me.” Dean shakes his head, still softly smiling, but with a faraway sadness to it.

“Again, I am sorry I made you uncomfortable. I see now that I was being selfish –“

“Nah, it’s fine.” Dean dismisses Castiel’s concerns with the wave of a hand.

“Apparently it helped. And you were right. If I knew about it, if you asked me to stay I would have rejected your offer.”

“Still, I ignored the boundaries you deliberately set up between us and I am sorry for it.”

“And I accept your apology even if I deem it unnecessary.” Dean replies over-politely.

“Good.”

“Good.”

“I want you here, Cas.”

“Mh?”

“You asked. Why I ‘keep up with you’. It’s just - because I want you.” Suddenly the silence in the kitchen is very heavy. “Around, I mean. I want you around.” Heat flushes up Dean's neck and he goes in for another generous sip to take his mind off his burning skin and redirect it to his burning throat instead. “Just not in my bed reading porn mangas, maybe.” He adds, quickly. _And awkwardly, Dean chastises himself._

“I could look at them in Sam’s room, if you prefer.”

“Oh god, no, please. Cas, no. Don’t – no more talk of porn manga, okay?”

“Alright.” Castiel nods earnestly.

“I prefer Pottery Barn catalogues anyway. They are quite relaxing to flip through.”


End file.
